Uncle Bernie
Henry stands by the window
Listens to all the noise
No one will care if he stays out all night
No one cares about naughty little boys
Henry can hear uncle Bernie
Overweight and out of breath
Moving around on top of his mommy
All Henry can think of is death
Uncle Bernie, will you show me the world
My dad is a cripple, and my ma is a girl
Uncle Bernie, will you teach me to hunt
For creatures to kill, and to maim and to fuck
Henry goes looking for Bernie
As his mother does her tricks
Bernie shows him how to trap a badger
And shows him what to do with his prick
Henry is staring at Bernie
Henry stares at the blood
Flowing so dark and so thick through the fur
Like Noah and his boat and his flood
CHORUS
Henry looks up at his father
With his empty jug of booze
With contempt in his heart, and a curse on his lips
Daddy’s too crippled to hit or to bruise
If only his father was Bernie
If only he wasn’t so limp
And Bernie would surely be king of the world
Instead of just being his mother’s pimp